I went for a regular visit to the cardiologist, who has never received any awards for bedside manner. My blood pressure was sky-high on my leg so he took it with a cuff on my right wrist. It was better but still high. When I explained about the blood pressure on the leg…lymph nodes removed on one side, port on the other, he asked what I was using the port for. I said not for anything at the moment, but having had cancer, you never know when you might need it again. I said I had planned to ask him what he thought about leaving it in. He said, “Well, it could be a problem, if you got an infection. It is a foreign body in your arm.” He added, “It could be a problem if a blood clot went from it to your chest.” Needless to say, that was very helpful information, scary, too. A couple of weeks later when I went to the Cancer Institute for a port irrigation (flush), I asked the nurse her opinion. She said that whatever you do, anything is a risk. Now, that’s my point. Isn’t it a risk for another surgical procedure? My oncologist never made it sound risky to leave the port in. I asked the nurse what most people do. She said that people usually have them removed about six months after the end of treatment. It’s been nine for me. Then I did recall that when I had a broken collarbone, the P.A.’s first action was to send me to the hospital for an ultrasound to make sure I didn’t have a blood clot. I have been looking forward to my next appointment with my oncologist to once again ask his opinion. I think I’ll have the port removed, but it will be scary to undergo another procedure. Hopefully, it will be preferable to a blood clot in my chest. The cardiologist said to check back with him after I’ve seen the other doctor, to send him copies of any test results, and then schedule a heart echo. He also mentioned a stress test. I’ve already failed that once, and it caused me to have an angiogram. Quite sure I still can’t pass a stress test, don’t even want to try.

Déjà vu; nothing new under the sun; what goes around, comes around; the more things change, the more they stay the same…Joe is back…A couple of weeks ago he had a seizure…strange first time event for a man his age. Anyway, it seemed the right thing to do to let him come here. He was already looking for a different place to live, other than with our oldest son and his family. He was coming from looking at a place when he had the seizure, seemingly at a red light. A bicyclist came by and called 911. Susan took care of everything. It was quite the timing for my life because it was my last night of summer school after teaching daily back-to-back classes for five weeks following working all day as an assistant principal. He had all the necessary medical tests and was released from the hospital on a Friday. I guess we will work at getting along. (Teresa, note I didn’t say try to get along, or I’m just saying). Since he’s on seizure medication, he can’t drink; and so far he hasn’t. Of course, he’s not supposed to drive either, but that’s another story. He hasn’t yet been to a neurologist, so it will be interesting to see what an expert says about the results of all the tests. Since I started this, he’s been to the neurologist who had nothing of value to add to the puzzle. He said Joe might have had a trans something or other instead of a seizure. The doctor told him to taper off the seizure medication so now he’s back to normal with CB. Anyway, he’s with me; and things are okay. What to do with the only man you ever loved, and you met him when you were 18 years old. It seems right that we should be together. So far, he’s been very helpful. He is his normal self, with the same short-term memory. I’m assuming that’s allowed when you’re 73. I told him if he had wanted to come back, he could have just asked instead of going to all that trouble with EMTs, hospital stay, myriad of tests, and doctor visits. Maybe I would have responded in the affirmative anyway.